Last night, I lost a friend. I suppose that technically, it was the wee hours of this morning, but no matter. No one died – no worries on that score! – but I wanted to take a moment to discuss friendship and anger.
I’ve known the person in question for a little over ten, eleven years. For at least eight of them, said person has been cornering me at functions, usually when I’m tipsy and unable to fend her off, and haranguing me with the same old litany of resentment every time. We need to fix our friendship, she tells me. I have no idea how it came to be in such a dire state of disrepair, but for a number of years I was committed to trying to fix whatever nebulous thing is/was wrong. Frankly, we were never that close to begin with, but it seemed important, so I tried. After a year or two, the only thing wrong on my end was that she would continue to corner me, ad infinitum. Ad absurdium, rather. No matter what I said or did, this is what I got:
Further, I’m supposed to perform her wedding this next summer.
Last night, the same usual thing happened. Honestly, for the first time in years, we actually have been making progress, and for the last few months, we seem to have been genuinely enjoying one another’s company. However, she’s never liked the Ex-Husband ( I think she was jealous of the attention and affection I have for him – but seriously?), and she aggressively started badgering me about his existence, daring me to justify any iota of love for him that I’ve ever displayed, demanding that I denote every happy memory I have of him, dissecting our relationship on the cold, steel, slab of her hate for him. Something happened then, and I just snapped.
I’m tired of her manipulation. I’m tired of her emotional blackmail. Frankly, I am absolutely tired of her bullshit. I’m slow to anger, but once I’m roused, I do not back down.
Her fiance, a good friend of mine that I get along with well, was incandescent in his rage when I apologized for not being able to offer my services at their wedding. He told me to go fuck myself; while he did later apologize, it’s been a rough day. I really want nothing more to do with the lady in question, nor her supercilious, smarmy, attitude, nor her veiled hostility. It might make holiday parties a bit tense, but I’m through.
Neither whimsical nor an adventure, but I needed to share. Cheers.