Gentle Reader, I was once a film star.
Only briefly, mind, and it was a silly little production we undertook for a party, but we did have a professional crew and director; there was an actual premier, and I was accosted by an adoring fan. The statement’s true, but on a much smaller scale than it sounds like.
Miss Ward and I came up with the concept, and the very brief script – we had decided on a silent film, so actual dialogue didn’t much matter. Ms. Capere undertook the project with her fledgling production company, Leap Second Pictures, and we set dates for filming. Some of the crew had to take on multiple roles – Miss K , who plays Mrs. Cogsworth, is seen here, assisting with makeup.
Mr. LaBouef, whose main duty was something technical that I don’t really understand, was willing to step in as the face of British Mars, a vital role in the film.
Miss S, who played a nameless member of the expedition’s crew (the one who vanishes halfway through the jungle scene and NO ONE NOTICES) – well, she doubles as the Cogsworth’s daughter. No one notices that, either.
We began filming, as one does, and being behind the scenes is tedious. Reshooting scenes, take after take after take – it’s damned exhausting. Striking sets is probably the most exciting part – it means that you’re making progress. We had some top-notch special effects, too – including the magic of green screen.
Naturally, as the star of the film – the titular Professor, after all – I was absolutely dashing. Heavens, how dashing!
Unfortunately, the film wasn’t quite ready in time for the event it was designed for – the Victorian Technological Exposition – but it enjoyed a successful première at a coffee-house in Seattle, as well as being screened at that underground gothic dance club, the Mercury. All in all, a fairly successful première.
Though not available online, I believe that copies of The Madcap Adventures of Professor Cogsworth – in the year 1950! are still available for sale, somewhere on the internet. However, the outtakes from filming are available to view for free. Here you are, Gentle Reader.